No More Games.

I don't play games so STOP tryin' to get me to lose a turn...

I may be blonde but I ain't no dumb girl, get it?

I liked you so I'll give ya another minute

But better watch now how you spend it

I won't pass GO another time,

As long as you got that rock stuck in your spine

Listen lady, it's time you realize

I can keep up while I try you on for size

I sure as hell ain't a fool like you wanna believe

The way you assume will get you none of me

Cuz I don't f'n wait around, play around, roll around

Until you're worth it

And all you gotta do is prove it

But instead your gonna prove me wrong

And I get to be the one laughing all along

Game over.

I Must Admit:

When it rains it pours…

I get a dozen roses

But nobody scores

You want me

But I don’t get

How giving me roses

Makes me forget

I like her &

You want me

I’m not just some apple

You can pick from a tree

I’ll fall @ my own pace

Don’t try to influence--

Growing love takes time
And I’ve got the patience.

Pressure

Writing writing everyday

Makes the pain go away

Even for a moment or two

Just like a good song would do

I feel trapped like in prison

By the world in which we live in

Wishing I could get away

Steal this life for my own
One day

Start a new or feel fresh

Let go of this earlthy flesh

Not saying that I want to die

But I guess that'd be alright

Release the pressure, fly away

It's gonna happen someday

When I go back to the end

Please play EJ's 'Candle in the Wind.'

I'll be starting over again
Breath, release, relax, begin.

I Miss You, But.

I miss you

But..

When I miss you

I pull through

I will go out & do my thing

Just 'cause you're not with me

Doesn't mean I can't be who I want to be

I am me and will forever be

Guess what - you'll see.

Ambition: II

So the truth is
It's your problem
NOT mine.
You who see nothing
Other than your
Elevated self,
You who will never know
Truth unless you
Pay for it,
You who must
Always prove to be
A liar and a thief
...Will forever remain
A tainted soul in the universe.
You who had so much potential
Corrupted your own heart and
Stole from those around you,
You who chose DarKness over light,
I wish you reciprocation
On your tangled path
And may you one day
See the results of such
An ignored heart.

Ambition: I

My life is a spectrum

With pressure on all sides

It changes colors as

Resistance builds

But I won't listen

When you say I can't

Because you couldn't

Do what I do

You ain't me

And I don't care

About spectrums only

Following my dreams

So I'll take each opportunity

To change the world

And I won't share ideas

With you who have no faith

Appreciate.

It's nice to know you care

In fact

It makes all the difference

The truth

That you wish well for me

Is hard

To comprehend but

I'm glad

I can breath easier

In knowing

I have your support

Thank you

Everybody

Everybody's got their passion
Everybody's got a disease
Everyone knows what they're doin' here

Everyone but me

I ain't the one fallin' in love

With video-game arcades

I won't walk down the street

Beggin' for money like a slave

Is my reason too big to get yet?

Am I really living in vain?

I can't stand the way you're living

But I love you just the same

A woman lives on the street

Claims she's got a job to do

I let her sing her soul and

Share a poem, damn she's

Good at what she do

But she measures her passion in money

I sure as hell ain't gonna give her dat

When she gives me this:

A lover I knew died today

She left me far behind

But the dead are not lonely

When we all change our minds

We leave pieces of ourselves behind

In broken cracks along the road

Trying to hold yourself together will

Get you left alone

Everybody's got a dream to live

Whether they obey it or not

We are here, one life, that's it

No time to feel alone.

She guesses my thoughts:

Is feeling useless?

Or to miss the F-word?

Friend.

She points to people sitin' at the bar acting
To know the meaning of such a thing

We all got shit goin on
I mean the S-word.

Sex.

Now that I've got your attention

I'll say it comes and goes with passion.
P-words. I can name a few

Smile lady this ones for you

Get on the mic and accomplish your dream

It's what you were destined to do

It's too late to change mine in time for

A dreamers destination

I watch as they catch what she leaves in the cracks

By wearing a soul on her sleeves

But who picks up the slack when

Dreams don’t make math?

I’m counting on wrinkle release

A cat has nine lives

Better try and get it right

Or face forever’s last night

N-word.

NOT NICE.

Did you find your passion yet?

Lemme check my back pocket.

Oh there’s that P-word again.

Peace.

Can we make it?

Stop—

Disappearing.

Check it.

Contemplation on Tattoos.

Someone asked me today why I don’t have any tattoos.

I said I do but I don’t wear them on the outside like you do.

My tattoos lie inside my heart as every painful loving scar.

They may not show on the outside of my skin but
You can see them looking in.

Take a trip inside my heart to see I’ve got plenty of markings.

Just like yours they tend to fade but show the marks of every blade.

What memory will you represent on my scarred up heart?

Show me what need there is to pretend I’m not torn apart.

Sure I bleed with each anew and still crave the next one too.

Why is it that designs meant to last forever fade
Almost imediatly after they are made?

Through my many lovers, inspirations and lost-friends

I’ve been given tattoos on the inside to mend.

Like yours, every tattoo is a mark of who I am,
Who I loved and where I’ve been.

Ladybug Spots.

I'm a chameleon. Changing to be the same. Gettin' older everyday.
I see my face changing into a woman I do not yet know.
By the time I change into her I will be someone new.
I'm 100% different then when I met you, than when I left you,
Than when I wept over you.
I am not the girl you thought you knew. I thought I knew her too.
But even though I loved you it wasn't true.
All I can think of to say is screw you! Why?
When all I wanna do is screw you.
I'm letting you get under my skin,
Digging deeper and deeper again and again.
Aging my amphibian nature and making me feel like a dumb little girl.
I just can't say no. I want to let go.
I want to grow old away from you, into something new.
To be new and fresh and aware.
But somehow you hold me like a deer in headlights stare.
What am I supposed to do when I am not strong enough to ignore my pull to you?
You knew me once. Smothered me there too.
Why in your world, was a butterfly not allowed to bloom?
Perhaps you worried I'd over-shadow you
When I just wanted to share my shadows with you.
While I was busy dreaming of what things could be,
I learned that my heart could bleed when it took a leap.
Crying like a ladybug with broken spots,
This chameleon girl grew up from your knocks.
It still hurts. I'm still changing. Will that ever change?
I read: In monarchs the power to transform lies within.
I'm ready to begin.
Just when I'm ready for flight you pull me in, again.
Will this butterfly ever get set free?
I'm learning and aging and tragically hoping you'll change for me.

A Note on Catching Time.

What does it look like when time stares at you? You'll need some time to figure it out. The thing about time though, is that it only takes seconds to be suspended in the middle of it and then all the while you are not moving, time goes passing by. So you are essentially no longer or ever frozen in time but rather a presence in the begining, middle and end of all time. Time is a most powerful force stopping for no man or godly demand. The more one tries to catch time, the more it's chases you down. Stopping only to brush by in an instant of slow moving comaraderie. We must be friends with time as time is on our side. Then again, what would we have if not for the changes of time? Time is seasons and laughter and instantly infinite.

The Nerve.

No sleeping, Driven mad

Don’t you try to understand

In fact you pretend to care

Then leave me ‘lone, Standing there

I’m fed up, No more lies

I’m too good to compromise

Take too much, Give too little

Support, What’s that? Unfulfilled
You toss spirits off the block

By takin’ souls and trading Nótt.

Fortunately, In your demise

You’ll finally come to recognize

By then it may be all too late

No time left to change your fate

You brought the pain upon yourself

What’s wrong? Can only dish it out?

No more games from yours to mine
Good for nothin’ but a rhyme

I’ll blast your sins out the mic

To prove its time you got a life.

Winner.

I'm mad because I have the same feelings as you. But you express them better than I'm able to do. I refuse to sit by and let you take all the action. I'm here for the same reasons; I've got the same passion. I see what you’re saying and relate to your rhyme, but isn’t that just what I see as your crime? How dare you seek to inspire me, when I’m the one inspiring. I won’t let you thrill me or take me off guard. It’s you who need to ring the alarm. I’ll be like a joker circling around his mark or like a child, peeking through the dark. A swift plan of action is all it would take, to peel my life back from a stranger mistake. But you’re not a stranger, nor can I call you a friend. Have we met before or is this a dead end? Come on fight back, let me take you down. I’ll win my own battles this time around. I guess the truth is I admire you too. We’ve got more in common than we know with what to do. I’ll forget to remember you in the end, and one day maybe we’ll pretend to be friends. It's time to become a winner in the making. The journey is long and I’m here for the taking.

Do GOOD.

Save the Earth – Written by Julie Hargreaves

We take for granted planted Earth. Never knowing how much she's worth.

Then rape the Earth of her precious gems forgetting Mother Nature again.

We only have one life, one world. Time to show we care, give good.

Imagine the pain of our dying Earth, and change your ways to save her.

Change to give peace a chance. Isn't that the least we can ask?

For years it's been a meaningless cycle, but now its time to break the cycle.

No more bull, throw away your shit. It’s easy and we all can do it.

Together we can make it happen, before the tragedy can (happen).

Use less water and recycle your cans and bottles.

Ride a bike or go easy on that throttle.

It's easy to change the world and it won't take long.

Let’s work together, come join along!

Soul Mate

Jan. 28th

The one that got away. I'm letting go today.

I wanted to be with you until our lives were through.

But you haven't come around since you threw me out.

I have so many plans. The way it should have gone.

I'm still in denial to have lost my number one.

I feel you everyday or is that my lone heart.

To the one that got away I beg for a fresh start.

If we are not meant to be, then why did I have the dream?

To see us hand in hand walking on the beach with age. My soul mate.

You are the one that got away. I guess not.

untitled

Jan. 30th, 2010

Does a heart blacken over night or does it take a whole life?

Is it one incidence or two that bleeds a heart into its tomb?

A heart once started out so pure loses soul in murky river.

Can you get it back again when broken heart becoms a friend?

Clouded memories turn grey to black. Does this heart ever love you back?

FIlled-up with the darkest gloom. This heart wishes for no more room.

Not empty due to missing love but filled with darkness and.. out of love.

NO MORE BS (chant)

no more bullshit

no more crap

no more from you

we've had enough of that

Namaste

Written March, 6th 2009

I want to see the goddess in you

Let me know your love is true

"Seeing is believing" they say

But in order to believe you have to have faith

It's not too hard to find true love

But in order to keep it, you gotta rise above

Let go of the doubt or jealousy that reigns

So that love and kindness can fill your veins

Transform the thoughts of your heart

And listen to your song

Release that grudge you're holding

It's OK to dance along!

Don't worry about feeling silly or stepping in too deep

Be the guardian of your own soul and spirit to keep

Love yourself to find what's true

It all starts and ends with you

Questions about - - - -

Written on 2/16/09

I opened up to you when I was low
You said it was OK to cry, to bare my soul
You were fake.
Just wanted to see how far I would go
Now I'm feeling even more alone
Sometimes I wonder why do I care or let myself feel so much?
The pain comes in mixed with short-lived relief and love
This love is my crutch or vicodin pill
Something that numbs all the pain 
Can decend and make me feel ill
What should I do If love is a drug I need to survive?
Will you help me keep love alive
Or will you just feed the flame of pain inside? 
I wish I knew how to live this life
And love the ones I bring into mine

Why is there always so much strife?

Is the pain only one of a kind

Or do I just reap what I sow?

Driving in silence is better than driving in tears

Written on 2/16/09

Instead of yelling and fighting, emotions on overdrive

We sit and ride in silence, only half alive

What can you do

But cut your losses and stew

Over everything as the road passes you by

Nothing can be fixed this way

But at least I'm not going to cry

The cold outside is inside too

Of this shell that rolls along

Just like a life you wish was thru,

The pain just keeps dragging on

But silence is better than tears today

When sadness is all that you know

Someday I will drive on my own road of life

And let only happy tears flow