So you're tellin' me he's the one....

Sure I'm excited for you. 
So happy that you've decided this one person is how you want to live the rest of your life.
But that life is not for me, if fact you now scare me.
Why can't I just be excited for you? Instead I run the opposite way; and close myself off from you who have made up your too eager minds and one-hit-wonder hearts.
That life, or choice is SO not me.
I wonder how can you be so sure?
Why would you want to give up everything you know of yourself to find it only residing in another.
God, how I wonder.... is it human nature to seek out a partner?
Or is it just the American way.
This mid-twenties thing is hard to get.
I discovered that I don't like change when it pertains to others.
Your life choice makes me depressed.
I can't even slow it down; why are you running full speed ahead to your souls' death bed?
No longer a unique individual, but part of a pair.... Then where do you go?
Soon enough you BELONG to another? IS THAT FAIR!?!
It's not for me but will I be forced to be alive in your world?
Do I have to choose someone to be accepted by you again?
Who are you to tell me, "don't worry, it'll happen to you too" gah!
Thanks for the warning, but NO THANKS!
I can choose for myself Who I Want To BE & with whom I want to be.
How could I or why would I want to settle on allowing another person the power to my inner key and what makes me, me?
Why would anyone in their right mind give ANYONE that much POWER!!!!
Why do I seem so upset? You twenty somethings out there & my previous single friends: YOU are happy giving up your self sovereignty, aren't you?
Is it because you get another's to fill your newly emptied space; breeding dependence all over the place?
It's funny 'cause as I write this I feel like a hypocrite.
I too am in a somewhat committed relationship. ....been together longer than those of you who are soo sure. But I don't feel the need to rest my entire happiness on this one individual.
I can count on me, no? ....so does this mean that I am not with "my person"
Some say you know right away.
Perhaps you don't care about losing yourself to find another.
It all seems rather silly and quite sad to me.
My individuality is too important to myself. I am just discovering my inner awareness.
Do you no longer care about forgetting who you were and falling into another as long as you are having a good time?
Well, I'm not looking for that ish yet.
Too much, too strong, too serious for me.
But I am Happy for you,  little cherubs.
Just don't hold it against me.... for I'll be all the while embrasing my own free spirit, mind and body.

Just a thought.

What is this comfort one feels within the sadness? What is the oblivion of feelings
One strives to forget but remembers immediately?
What is the thoughtless hole of feeling
--nothing and everything all at once.

Why me?

Which of my inner personalities is stressed?
Which one is acting like a child, unafraid to be embarrassed?
Who is this person manifesting itself in me?
Why do you choose now as the most im(propper) time to speak.
I don't want you, yet it seems I need you or is it Youwho needs me.

Listen. I'm not going to let you take over. So Emotions leave me be.

Distance. 8/29/10

We're together in the fact that we're the same breed.
Swimming in different pools but doing the same strokes
--each with her own waves to overcome.
We've been as close as we're ever gonna be.
But now separated by plastic and other peoples lives.
Like peas and carrots mixed in a bowl of fruit.